One Chance Lost
by Passion4Writing1218
Summary: Macy goes through the trauma of any girl fresh out of college. Break ups, make ups and follow ups. But will the biggest, most un expected breakup lead Macy to corruption?


It was the week after graduation. College graduation, that is. It was the week when all the mayhem of college and all the studying and stressing was over; when I was free to do what I wanted, when I wanted. I was lazily resting on a hammock, curled up to Wes, sunglasses covering my eyes.

Wes ran his fingers along my cheek. I loved when he did that. "Macy," he said softly. I lifted my head, propped it up with my elbow, and looked him in the eye. Then I put my index finger over his lips, silently forbidding him to speak.

"Wes," I replied softly. He looked at me sincerely, and I saw a strange glint I had never seen before in his eye. It was a glint of sorrow, a glint of pain. It hurt me to see it. He moved my finger from his lips and took his hands away so I couldn't hold them. "What's wrong?" I asked, watching him carefully. I could see a penetrating quality cross his beautiful face, and his eyes took on a distant look that longed to be somewhere else. I could tell he was deciding whether or not to continue what he started.

"Macy," he said solemnly. "I, I don't exactly know how to say this." _Oh no._ I could feel something heavy coming on. I waited in silence for him to continue. "I've given this a lot of thought. And I've decided that we should stop seeing each other." I wasn't mentally prepared for this. I didn't understand, either that or I didn't want to.

"What?" I asked, my mind whirling. I couldn't find any possible reasons for this to happen. I hadn't done anything wrong. I had just loved him! I saw hesitation in his eyes. And I knew he hadn't yet realized what he had done to me.

"I, um, feel like I don't, well, I…" he trailed off, looking away. "It's just, I know this, I can't, I don't, I can't, I'm sorry." He lowered his head in shame and regret. And then it hit me. He didn't think I was good enough for him. I couldn't believe it. After all we'd been through, after all he'd done to me. He gave me love. He gave me life. He was the air I needed to breathe to keep living. Immediately I broke down, tears fell from my eyes and I felt a pit down in my stomach. The same pit I had when I had found my father dead. He gently pressed his hand to my chin and lifted my face until I met his eyes. I couldn't look at him, and I darted my focus to my flip flops, half buried in the sand.

"But why, Wes?" I asked him, tears streaming from my eyes. "I'm not good enough for you, Wes? I love you, that's not enough?" I broke down into full fledged tears as the pit in my stomach grew bigger and bigger, swallowing me up.

"No, Macy, no!" he said, trying to lift my chin again. I wouldn't look at him. "It's the opposite! Macy, I'm not good enough for you, you deserve someone better."

"Wes, I don't deserve anyone better. I don't even deserve you!" I tried to stop the tears by wiping my eyes, but they wouldn't stop. My heart seemed to stop beating, and I felt like I was falling into an endless, bottomless pit of nothing. "Wes, I love you. Can't that be enough?"

"No, Macy. Stop it. I'm sorry," but even as Wes said it, I saw his eyes moisten and he climbed off the hammock. I got up and tried to follow him.

"Wes, wait!" I called, stumbling after him, my tears clouding my vision. "Wes!" he apologized again and then took off running across the beach. I stumbled after him, trying to keep up, calling his name over and over. He wouldn't stop, or even turn around to look at me. I stumbled and ran, but I couldn't keep up with him. He was too fast for a tear streaked, sobbing girl who had just lost the love of her life. That doesn't say much about him, but I didn't care about that. Suddenly I fell over myself and fell to my knees on the wet sand. I sat there, sobbing and sobbing. My sadness became anger, and soon I was sobbing angry, frustrated tears. _How could he? How dare he? How could he leave me?_ The waves brushed past me, but I didn't care. I couldn't care less, in fact. They soothed me a little, and my rage calmed. My anger became sadness once more, and I was crying sad, broken hearted tears once more.

"Watch out!" I heard someone cry out. Startled, I looked up in time for an enormous wave to crash over my head and trap me under. I struggled as it dragged me back into the ocean with it. But eventually I just gave up. It was no use. I started sinking lower and lower into the deep blue.

I saw my life flash before my eyes. It wasn't a very good one. I had memories of my childhood. My parents fighting, my sister bitching to me, my old boyfriend Jason trying to make me someone I wasn't, my father dyeing, my mother crying, being alone, and then they became good. Meeting the Wish Catering Crew, meeting Wes, falling in love with him, our first kiss, and graduation. Pretty much, all my good memories started when I met Wes. Then I saw us breaking up. As this last and most terrible memory greeted me, I struggled to get up. I jerked around and tried to swim, but I was too far down. The water was too heavy on top of me, and I didn't have the power to swim. I couldn't cry. All I could do was wait for it to be over. Everything started to fade…

* * *

"I think she's going to be okay," I heard someone say. I felt warm hands pressing my stomach, and then a sickening wave of salty ocean water traveled up through my throat and out of my mouth. Coughing, I sat up and opened my eyes, coming face to face with a pair of warm, brown eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he said, pulling his face away.

"Don't be," I smiled. He smiled at me. He had shaggy brown hair and was obviously the lifeguard. I could tell because of his baggy red "lifeguard" shorts and the whistle on a chain around his neck. The sun hit his face and just then he looked just like a Greek God. His beautiful smile glinted and I felt like I would faint right there. But I had to ruin the moment by coughing up a mouthful of ocean water. He rushed to my side and helped me sit up. So perhaps my moment wasn't ruined.

"By the way," he said. "My name's Devin." I smiled at him, and held down a mouthful of water.

"Macy Queen," I said. He laughed. "What?" I asked him.

"Nothing, nothing," he replied, shaking his head but not shaking the smile from his face. I didn't believe him, but for his sake, I decided to let the matter go. I figured I had caused Devin enough trouble for one day.

"Macy, Macy," he said. "You had quite a drama out there today," he said as he stood up and stretched. My smile turned down as I remembered what had really caused my 'almost drowning' fate. What had really broken my heart and left me to get crumpled by the ocean. I felt the tears come. Soon I was sobbing again. Devin hurried and knelt to the ground next to me. After several attempts of asking me what was wrong, with no reply, he cradled me in his arms. I buried my face in his shoulder and he rocked me back and forth, back and forth, until I had cried all my tears. He gently lifted my face and met my eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked. I shook my head and wiped the last tear from my cheek. I tried to stand up, but my wobbly knees gave out on me, and I crumpled to the ground like a newborn foal trying who couldn't stand. He cradled me once more, and I rested my head on his shoulder and snuffled a quiet response.

"My heart," I said weakly.

"Huh? I don't understand!" he said.

"It's- it's broken," I said quietly, closing my eyes. I waited for his laugh. Not after long, it came.

"I'm not sure I know how to fix that," he laughed. "I don't think I'm qualified to." I tried to smile at his joke, but it hurt. That was the kind of joke Wes used to make. I didn't think I could handle remembering Wes any more than I already did. He sighed and then walked me to my car.

"Will you be alright driving home?" he asked as I climbed unsteadily into the driver's seat. I nodded, not wanting to make him drive me. He wouldn't have a car to go home with. "Okay," he sighed. "Maybe I'll see you again, Macy."

"Bye, Devin," I said, smiling lightly. "And thank you." He nodded and closed my door. Carefully, I eased myself into focused – driving mode and drove steadily home.

* * *

I didn't have it in me to remember Wes. I couldn't think about him. It hurt too much. But no matter how hard I tried to stop it, his face kept managing to reenter my brain, haunting my vision and bringing tears to my eyes over and over until I couldn't stand it anymore. I would scramble up the stairs and into my bedroom, dive onto my bed and rock myself back and forth and cry. And I would cry and cry and cry until eventually I fell asleep, Wes once again entering my mind and stirring my dreams.

They say people sort through things and get over things in their dreams. _They_, whoever _they _are, are mistaken. I didn't get over Wes in those many, many dreams I'd had of him. I couldn't sort him out; I couldn't understand his reasoning, or him. I knew he loved me, but I also knew that people change. I just couldn't figure out _why_ people change, and why whoever or whatever changes people had changed Wes.

He was a mystery…


End file.
